Party Update and Latest Poem

ok so about my party...the planning has been going pretty smoothly and according to schedule...i ordered the jack sparrow cutout off of ebay on friday, so it should be here by the end of the month...i went party decoration shopping on saturday and picked up some cool stuff (including a movie camera shaped pinata!!)...invitations went out today, and ive started getting some yeses and maybes, so turnout looks pretty good so far...i have to hand out the rest of the invitations later at church (only the school invitations have gone out)...ive had a few people literally begging for them!! ok...so i MAY have told them they would only get one if they begged, but its basically the same thing, right?? ok maybe not...haha...but yeah, the point is that people wanna go, which means that im doing my job fairly well...now if only i could be put in charge of some youth events, maybe we'd get more than 4 people coming on wednesdays!! but yeah...so invitations are checked off my extensive list of things to do, thankfully!!

as for the poem, i wrote it a few days ago in geometry because, honestly, what else am i supposed to do in that class?? it's called "Broken", a name i stole from the Secondhand Serenade song...i might give the person who guesses my inspiration a piece of candy, so pay close attention!!

Broken, by Stevie Lee

I was empty when I met you
And you made me complete
I should not have given you the power
To cut me so deep
You had my trust completely
But you abused every bit
You threw powerful blows
And ran once you hit
Every blow had a meaning
Like the very first one
You left me for him
Because I was no fun
Does the guy you just met
Mean more to you
Than the best friend who gave you
A place to run to
every time you were hurt??
Do you care anymore??
Are you just going to leave me
Broken on the floor
Calling for help
When there’s no one around
To pick up the pieces
Scattered across the ground??
Was he just that important
That you can throw me away
Like the memories we’d made together
Day after day??
I wish I could tell you
Just how much it hurts
That my best friend in the world
Has become such a jerk
But you refuse to listen
And my pleas are in vain
And im left here broken
Crippled with pain
I really hate to give up
On what I long so much to fix
But I cant seem to reach you
When your skull’s grown so thick
So for now and forever
I guess this is goodbye
But don’t think that as I write this
Im not dying inside


so yeah...guess the inspiration and get candy!! pretty sweet deal, if you ask me...well, im out for now...

Don't Even Try (also my thoughts on megan)

you wanna know what i think is hilarious?? everyone thinks they have something to hide, and when they try, they think theyre doing a pretty good job of hiding it...well, guess what!! YOURE NOT!! you all must think im either blind or a very unperceptive person because you cant try and hide the obvious from me!! when i say i know everything or that im psychic, im not entirely joking...sure, i may not know every textbook fact or be able to literally read peoples minds, but i can tell a lot about people just by reading their subtle movements or listening to the way they talk...like i can tell if someone has started an old habit and doesnt want me to know about it...cursing, for instance...just the way some people may hesitate before saying some things, no matter how small the hesitation is...or i can sense that someone may not be telling the truth...like if they pass off an illness that is supposedly severe with a wave of their hand, it probably wasnt even half as bad as they want me to believe...

i think that there are definately some things in our lives that we may not neccessarily want other people to know, but if its something stupid like the things i mentioned above, why would it even matter?? if you curse when youre in one place, but pretend not to somewhere else, isnt that pretending to be someone youre not?? isnt that something everyone tries to avoid?? i certainly thought so...

also, im going to clear the air right now about whats going on between megan and i so i dont have to keep answering stupid questions like "why hasnt megan been to church in a while??" or "have you spoken to megan lately??"...NO i have NOT spoken to her lately, NO i am NOT planning on talking to her anytime soon, NO it is NOT because she is busy with band, YES i AM cutting her out of my life, YES it DOES make me feel bad, YES it DOES hurt a bit, YES i DO almost hate her just a bit, YES she IS being a jerk, YES i DO wish i could slap her, YES the fight IS causing me a lot of stress, NO i did NOT think we were going to stop being friends anytime soon, YES i HAVE written many angry poems about her, NO i am NOT going to post them here or anywhere because YES they DO hurt and it DID hurt to have to write them in the first place, NO im NOT going to talk to her about it, YES i HAVE given up on her completely, YES i DO pray for her every night, NO there has NOT been any more improvement, YES she DOES curse now, YES she DOES have a boyfriend, YES she DOES think church, and therefore God, is a waste of ther time, YES i DO miss joking around and being happy all the time, but NO im NOT gonna start again just yet, YES i DO think im taking this seriously, and YES i DO think its the right thing to do, YES it IS sad that we were once such good friends and now i cant stand her, NO i do NOT regret what i said, YES i WAS telling the truth, and YES she DOES need to get over whatever phase shes going through, YES i DID say she wasnt ready for high school, and YES i DID mean it, and YES i still DO mean it, NO i do NOT think it is neccessary for someone to change when starting high school, and YES it IS possible to still be the same person, YES i DO think she is being immature, and YES i DO blame her entirely, YES i COULD try more to help her, and YES i COULD tell her why im so mad at her, but NO i will NOT, YES she DOES deserve this, and NO i will NOT delete any part of this post, NO i do NOT care who reads it either!!

i really wish i could say that i overreacted and be friends with her again, but i just cant because i know its not true...i was thinking about the fight a few days ago and i realized that we may never make up, and i felt really bad, but i accepted it...sure, im not as exciting as i was before, but ive just mellowed out a bit...you cant tell me at least a few people arent just a bit relieved...i regret nothing, its the philosophy that i live by, and so i dont regret telling megan the truth a few weeks back...i dont regret inviting her to my party way back when either, and im going to honor what i said, so she IS still invited, but only because i dont go back on my word without a really good reason, and i dont see the fact that we're fighting to be that good of a reason...she doesnt have to come, and she probably wont, but i dont want people saying that i never tried to help her out, because i did...oh, and she can say she loves her life right now as much as she wants, but i know she has to feel at least a wee bit bad that her former best friend practically hates her (i dont though, because hate is a strong word)...

so yeah, i dont care if she reads this, and i really dont care if anyone else reads it either, but its good to get it off my chest...

Nothing

yep...another post about nothing...dont worry, it wont be as bad as the last one!!

so yeah, today i got the details for my english "project"...its not really MY project, cuz the whole class is participating in it...we're doing this courtroom kinda thing to put Brutus and Cassius from Julius Caesar on trial for murdering Caesar...i have to be a juror, which is SO not gonna be fun...

ive made a few new videos...one is of my trip to disney world, and the other is for a history project in which i had to create a piece of propaganda for WWII...here they are:






yeah...i got a 100 on the history project, so that was cool...the first time i ever got a 100 on a project in novotnys class!! woo!!

the past few weeks have been kinda boring and eneventful...if anything important ever DOES happen (not that often), its not like i have anyone to tell about it...no offense to some of you guys, but there are some things that i just cant talk to middle-schoolers about...and normally i would call/text/facebook message megan, but as of a couple weeks ago, im unsure of our status...she hasnt answered me about that one post yet, so i can only assume that shes chosen the worse of the 2 choices...not that anyone would know what that is, since i specifically said that it was a post meant only for megan, but whatever...

so yeah, one of the things that HAS happened over the past couple weeks is that nicki and richard are in town...notice i referred to that as neither an exciting nor good thing...she has a gift for making me want to slap her, much like veronica...in fact, its worse when theyre in the same room and are conspiring against me!! so yeah, anyone want 2 sisters and a "brother-in-law"?? you can have mine!!

so umm yeah, i might as well go, since theres really nothing to write about because nothing exciting has happened other that realizing that i have a gift for improv...so yeah, ima go now...