I don't know why, but something made me want to write all about my various mental problems, so here goes. I:
Am Nocturnal- I only sleep during the day. I've tried many times to switch my schedule around, but it only ever lasts a few days before I end up back to normal. Yes, I consider this completely normal for me. I don't like sunlight, noise, or people in general, so being awake at night ensures that I'll be able to avoid all of those. It works.
Am A Hypochondriac- I diagnose myself with all kinds of illnesses, whether they're mental of physical. Keep that in mind as you read the rest of this.
Am Supposedly Allergic- to pineapple, heat, people, garlic, and germs. Can't stand any of them.
Am Germophobic- I HATE germs of all kinds. I keep a can of Lysol and some Germ-X within reach at all times. I have my own bathroom, my own cups, and disinfectant wipes in almost every room of the house. This is so not a joke for me.
Am Arachnophobic- I'm terrified of spiders. Or any bug, really, but mostly spiders. The bad thing is that they seem to follow me. No matter where I am, it seems I'm destined to find a bug of some sort. Also, when I see them, I enter a state of virtual paralysis. I don't scream, run, or reach for the flyswatter; instead, I stand completely still, hyperventilate a bit, and finally reach for the phone (once I'm sure the bug's not coming after me) to call someone else in the house to come kill it. I've had very few successes whenever I've tried to kill it myself, so I tend to avoid it.
Can't scream- It's not physically possible. When I'm scared, I become paralyzed (see above); when I'm excited, I tend to screech; when I'm exhiliarated, I laugh. It's weird, but I have never once screamed instinctively, and when I try to make myself scream, it comes out like a raspy yell. Maybe it's from damaging my voice so much, losing it every year without fail, or maybe it's just hereditary since my mother seems to have a similar problem. I don't know, but it's really strange.
Can't live with people- Or, more specifically, my family. Seriously, there are days when I find everything they do revolting. I can not have anyone touching my things, especially my cups, and I really hate talking. I can put up with it for a little while, but once I get tired of a conversation, I become irritable and generally unpleasant. Also, my family seems to like to have the same exact conversations every time they talk to me, so you can understand if I get a bit frusterated. I can only hear "put your cups in the sink" so many times before any combination of the words makes me want to scream (which I can't do, anyway, making it even more aggravating). The worst part is that we all have bad tempers, so our "conversations" more often than not can lead to yelling, and even a few instances of throwing (mostly by me). You see, being a hermit is starting to seem like a really good option for me. Or a vampire.
Have a really short temper- I've been really into my heritage lately, and I've managed to find out that I was basically doomed to be mad by my ancestors. You see, my mom's grandfather sailed over here from Italy, so I've got a bit of an Italian temper. Her mother was straight French, as was most of my father's side, so I've got a very French attitude. On top of all that, my great-great grandmother on my mom's side was supposedly part Irish, making my temper downright explosive. I've managed to keep it all in check most of the time with a mask of indifference, but really any small thing can set me off, so watch out.
Laugh- For some reason, I laugh at everything, whether I'm happy, sad, livid, or any other emotion I may be feeling. There have been times when I wanted to literally rip someone's head off because I was that mad, but they didn't take me seriously, because I'd start laughing. I have no idea why I'm like that, but don't let my laughing fool you. Chances are, I'm not at all happy.
Burn in sunlight- I'm not talking like surnburn burning, either; I'm talking about there's smoke coming from my bright red arm and I'm only sitting at the kitchen table burning. I can't be in the sunlight for more than a few minutes before I start getting really uncomfortable and red. It's not fun, and fairly vampiric.
Faint in heat- I seriously can't be hot. It makes me light-headed, and has even burned me. I can get sick, become even clumsier than normal, and even pass out, so it's essential that I stay cool. That's one of the things I don't miss about Florida; it's WAY too hot in the summers.
Can't focus- on anything that doesn't interest me greatly. Schoolwork is absolute torture, because I can't make myself do it if it's that boring. I can't re-read a book unless I've either not read it in the past six months or read a bunch of other books since the last time because it will seem repetitive and dull, even if I love the book. I have to really be into something or else I want nothing to do with it.
That's really all I can think of at the moment, but I might think of something later and post it. I'm going to try (again) to write more often, but no promises. Hopefully, no one thinks I'm crazy because of this post, but if you do, I can't really blame you.
My next post will hopefully be about my Vermont trip last July, so keep your eyes open for that. Until then, later.
No comments:
Post a Comment